When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
