I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
