my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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