Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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