Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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