Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
