I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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