I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
