be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread