i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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