Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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