You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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