I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
