i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Randomize