i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
