just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
