yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
