I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
