I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
