So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
