There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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