a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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