Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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