I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Randomize
