I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
