Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched a dick in church today
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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