Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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