That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
