omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
