Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize