I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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