if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
