So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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