just tell him i said nine months
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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