Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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