WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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