I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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