i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
