when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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