# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
