So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
not ubering you a puppy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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