when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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