Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
