Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
