what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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