ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
