the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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