We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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