I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she peed on how many people?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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