Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize