Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
