And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.