You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
