I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!