Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class

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  (925): This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class http://tfl.nu/1wvn
  Replies (9) Good night (2333) Bad night (613)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?

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  (215): is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night? http://tfl.nu/ftgg
  Replies (19) Good night (813) Bad night (1683)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"

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  (937): He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night" http://tfl.nu/9y6d
  Replies (9) Good night (4121) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.

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  (415): I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea. http://tfl.nu/t4nr
  Replies (32) Good night (1068) Bad night (4186)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...

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  (551): And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries... http://tfl.nu/h7d9
  Replies (18) Good night (3050) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!

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  (406): There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go! http://tfl.nu/765a
  Replies (9) Good night (2685) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.

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  (201): I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay. http://tfl.nu/g3mb
  Replies (1) Good night (1568) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.

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  (731): Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you. http://tfl.nu/9eaj
  Replies (8) Good night (2669) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.

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  (484): After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me. http://tfl.nu/p7tl
  Replies (6) Good night (841) Bad night (1540)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital

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  (631): Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital http://tfl.nu/fnso
  Replies (12) Good night (1244) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.

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  (843): It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine. http://tfl.nu/9l0i
  Replies (21) Good night (1295) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.

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  (718): It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail. http://tfl.nu/rl3q
  Replies (4) Good night (873) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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  (330): easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL http://tfl.nu/8uqk
  Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.

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  (956): Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair. http://tfl.nu/7p18
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.

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  (269): He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle. http://tfl.nu/cm4y
  Replies (7) Good night (891) Bad night (309)

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