yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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