Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe". http://tfl.nu/cnav
  Replies (7) Good night (2567) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey. http://tfl.nu/7b75
  Replies (15) Good night (3634) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  do you want me to make hamburgers?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i'm vegan

  (209): View more from California

  i'll put lettuce on them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): do you want me to make hamburgers? (541): i'm vegan (209): i'll put lettuce on them http://tfl.nu/hb72
  Replies (37) Good night (7691) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again. http://tfl.nu/y1d0
  Replies (32) Good night (1350) Bad night (6236)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Jealous.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls. (573): Jealous. http://tfl.nu/6b8u
  Replies (9) Good night (3816) Bad night (1749)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom? http://tfl.nu/19xa
  Replies (55) Good night (1171) Bad night (17290)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow http://tfl.nu/bfg7
  Replies (14) Good night (3348) Bad night (1416)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone. http://tfl.nu/c518
  Replies (7) Good night (3380) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly. http://tfl.nu/y0mx
  Replies (3) Good night (1040) Bad night (2031)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom? http://tfl.nu/95nz
  Replies (4) Good night (1794) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome. http://tfl.nu/la0v
  Replies (5) Good night (2921) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans

  (530): View more from California

  You've been usurped as King of the Gays

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans (530): You've been usurped as King of the Gays http://tfl.nu/3bmd
  Replies (19) Good night (1868) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls http://tfl.nu/xuj7
  Replies (12) Good night (1740) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels. http://tfl.nu/rc9i
  Replies (9) Good night (918) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands http://tfl.nu/8ta4
  Replies (6) Good night (1429) Bad night (443)

Randomize