A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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