Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
