Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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