quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
