so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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