i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
