Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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